5 Ways to Treat your Haters

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About haters. They are available in all shapes and sizes, with language that varies from the cave-dwellers’ grunting to the want-to-be intelligentsia’s bombastic spewing.

No matter what role they take, it can be frustrating and demoralizing to deal with them. And they are out there no matter what you do, what you make, or where you work.

5 Ways to Treat your Haters

There’s no way to stop them, but being prepared to deal with haters is the safest thing to do. Fortunately, for someone who is struggling, there are plenty of ways to help you do this. Letting haters get to you is easy.

Here are five measures to help you become bulletproof for haters:

1. Identify if the person is really a ‘Hater’

Not all those who disagree with you are haters. To deal with a hater properly, you first need to know if anyone is a hater or if they disagree with you. Perceiving any negative comment as ‘hatred’ makes for a miserable life, mainly if you try to share something online. Being too receptive to input and feedback would also stop you from continuously improving yourself or your career. There are always friends in disguise (even if they are a little abrasive) who question your thought, who participate in the debate, who suggest changes to your content, or who give an opposing point of view.

Such people will help you create, enhance, and refine your ideas or your art. The suggestions and conversations they make can be much more beneficial to you than your loyal fans’ approval and compliments.

On the other side, haters don’t give you anything of worth. They do not offer advice, nor do they, in any helpful way, justify their opinion. They are not involved in the dialogue, interaction, or conversation. The main distinction between a hater and a critic is that.

Comments such as “You’re a complete waste of time,” or Wow, this is total garbage,” or How adorable, you’re pretending to say anything!” are unhelpful. But if the remark is pointless or only meant to make you feel bad, you can be pretty sure you’re dealing with a hater.

Try looking at it critically when you come across a negative statement.

Ask yourself if there is something you might benefit from there or a different insight you could consider. Don’t be swayed by cutesy emoticons or verbosity. Some haters mask themselves with big words, long-winded rants, or smiley emoticons.

Focus on an unbiased evaluation of their comment or statement’s real context. If it contains nothing but bile, or if the person refuses to engage with you in some constructive debate, then you know that you are dealing with a hater.

2. Tell yourself that your intended audience isn’t haters

You will be recognized by your target audience, your extended audience, and people who are not part of your audience at all.

It’s not your role to cater to everyone, or even to most people. It’s about getting others who are (or might be) interested in what you need to share. That is an audience of yours.

Haters have never been and will never be part of your target or extended audience, so they are not interested in seeing your work or ideas or even contemplating them. If your audience members hate something you put out, they may participate in more constructive feedback or disagreement.

These are the individuals to whom you can pay attention and make changes. Haters, on the other hand, have nothing but meaningless, pointless snark. Please do not attempt to talk to them, for you will never be able to do so.

3. Moving on to the next topic or meaningful task immediately

Switching to something meaningful or positive with your attention helps you stop wallowing in your frustration or suffering. Redirect your attention to other comments, other questions, or other follow-up behaviors until you have given your hater a mental send-off. Our brains, a phenomenon is known as negativity bias, have evolved to pay attention to negative feedback.

It is essential that you quickly take your focus away from the negative stimuli because the longer your pity-party goes on, the forward momentum becomes more difficult.

4. Give a Hearty Mental Send-off to the Hater

It is difficult to pretend that there aren’t haters or their comments. Their remarks call out to us, drawing our attention to a flame-like moth. You don’t have to cover your ears and say, “la la la, I can’t hear you!” “It’ll make them go missing. And it takes a massive amount of mental energy and willpower to attempt to do so.

A better tactic is to let yourself feel the momentary blaze of frustration, then square your shoulders, look at the hater or their message directly, and give them a powerful and quick mental send-off.

This send-off should not be overthought. It should not be a lengthy rebuttal or elaborate come-back.

Keep it simple: a firmly extended middle finger or hearty “well f*@% you too” treats the remarks of a hater with the degree of eloquence and attention they merit (done physically and out loud if you are at the keyboard or emotionally if you are dealing with someone in person).

You get a little hit of testosterone by standing or sitting upright, squaring your shoulders, and confronting the person or comment by looking at it directly, which will boost your level of power and confidence.

You are granted an emotional release by the send-off itself. This mix lets you brush the hater aside and move on with a little bit more ease. At first, this method will sound empty or insincere but continue to use it with most things; with practice, you can improve.

And a crucial thing to note: once you’ve given the hater a mental send-off, don’t pay any more attention to them. Don’t return their comments or re-read them, and don’t give them more of your time.

5. Put yourself out there again… and again and again and again, and again…

A large part of engaging with haters successfully is being able to continue sharing your thoughts, material, or art, regardless of what the haters say.

It helps you grow healthier skin and more resistance to any nastiness you eventually experience by building up a body of work and getting it out there. The more you share with others, the lower the stakes for every particular piece of work would be.

It helps to spread the possibility of rejection; if a disproportionate amount of hate is drawn to one of your posts or videos, so what?

Some attention and some great feedback were drawn to those three other posts or videos you put out earlier, and in your next video, you are repairing the weird lighting and backdrop.

When you have 100 other articles out there for people to read, a couple of unpleasant comments on one post means far less.

Continuing to generate and share often discourages haters from coming at you often. They lose interest in their attempts at bullying when, despite their remarks, you continue to share your work and ideas.

It’s dull work to try to tear down a relentless optimist, and nothing reveals how little crap anyone gives about a hater than the fact that they continue to express their thoughts.


Here’s a short recap on the 5 ways to treat your haters:

1. Identify if the person is really a ‘Hater’

2. Tell yourself that your intended audience isn’t haters

3. Moving on to the next topic or meaningful task immediately

4. Give a Hearty Mental Send-off to the Hater

5. Put yourself out there again… and again and again and again, and again…

These steps work best in sequence when done together. It does not take long, and it is essential to routine practice and repetition. Over time, you will grow immunity to haters and never let your work distract you from their garbage.

Related: How to bounce back from accidents, losses & breakups

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